I thought I would make this blog for stuff that doesnt fit in The Couch Casbah
or on Gyronet. This blog is less of a ranting site, but more of a place where I can just frolic.
So about that whole updating thing....this post is kinda dedicated to Caitlin. So Nwah. Well everybody knows about my new job so I won't babble on about that. Its going alright, pay is good. My trainers are some of the best in the office, thus I am being mentored by the best in the business. These people know how to relate and sell to people very well. I wish to impart some of their tips and knowledge, as well as some of my findings on to you in a new section called:
I Can't Be Fucked For Thinking of a Title
Oh yea, in our first installment I let you good readers in on what I wrote down on day 4 of my journal as an IC:
Tip 1: Finally starting to learn how to handle old people now. The trick is to talk really slow and I mean so God damn slow you can take a shit in between each word you say. I find this effective, because if you talk at a fast or even normal speed, the old granny will start to get scared and will insult you instantly. However, I have found that if you take at a painstakingly slow pace, they become intrested.
This way you sound non threatening, and completely harmless, however if they do start to become agressive and insult you (which i find that 9/10 old people do verbally assault you) then it is time to turn into a confident, highly aggressive contractor
"WELL BITCH...IM GONNA SAVE YOU MONEY WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT MO FO....FOR REAL"
Hope that tip comes in handy for those aspiring IC's out there.
Ok now that section is done...like I said, this post is dedicated to Caitlin! I really like her, she makes me all warm inside...for this...I have written a little song:
Caitlin Oh Caitlin You rock my Socks Oh Caitlin
Everytime you work at Brumbies I always want your pasties
Caitlin Oh Caitlin You rock my socks Oh caitlin
Oh yea, best song ever.
Hmmm I have very nice things to say about Caitlin, but she doesnt take compliments well.
Caitlin abuses me and has: Hit me twice in the eyeballs Elbowed my ribcage Punched and Kneed my balls
But this is ok, because I like Caitlin, and abuse from her is not abuse, I believe someone told me it was called, Assault Rough Love.
:D sorry Cait...
And now to a new section called:
That Aint Suss
In this section I try to incorprate the word a word of the week (this weeks word is: Shitballs) 15 times in a short story without making it sound out of context or too weird.
Once upon a Shitballs, there lived a family of Shitballs, they lived in a very small house, which could only be described as Shitballs. The Mother of the family of Shitballs asked "Shitball Junior, can you pass the Shitballs please?" only for Junior to reply "Oh Shitballs mother, I forgot to buy the Shitballs from that Shitballs of a shop". The father of the Shitballs was bepuzzled "Junior! You Shitballs of a son! Your memory has gone all Shitballs! You did buy those Shitballs! You piece of Shit!" Mother Shitballs was surpried and said "Greg Shitballs! Watch your language!". They all laughed and they lived happily ever after.
Yep....I guess this wraps up this post.
Hopefully this update is highly informative to all and that you have gained some life changing knowledge.
Friday, August 19, 2005